A New Beginning – The Story about Ireland and Me

A New Beginning is not about changing furniture or hairstyle. It is a Goodby to the old world. At the end, it was almost ridiculous. It was a cliché I followed when I followed the tall Irishman here, to Ireland. I hoped it might be love. But the connection between us wasn’t made by love. It was creates through unconscious needs and desires. Now – looking back – I understand the appearance of the Irish man on my horizon. And perhaps I played the same role in his life. He was:

“The Herald calling to a new adventure”.

I love to see my own life and all the experiences I have to go through as my Hero’s Journey. In my childhood I imagined living in a fairytale, experiencing fantastic and terrifying adventures, fighting with horrible enemies, encountering with fantastic creatures, supported by helpful divine forces. I was always interested in finding a deeper meaning to my existence. I thought there must be more, a deeper purpose then being born, going to school, learning a profession, working, working, working, getting married, having kids, working hard and then dying after a couple of nice vacations. I would not say that I felt always optimistic and great when I had to go through shitty situations but I was able to find the little magic in them – like roses need dung to grow well and bloom.

The Call

When I was calling to my new adventure I thought I’m ready. But I was as ready as Frodo in the Lord of the Rings when Gandalf called him. I felt attracted to the idea of starting the second half of life in a different country. My kid are on their own paths facing their own adventures. I’m free now to discover something unknown about myself, to challenge myself and to figure out unimagined strenghts and powers. But it is much easier to think about it, dream about it and let the thoughts fly into the sky of infinite possibilities. To bring the ideas down to earth and life is a complete different story. There are obstacles like language, approval from authorities, understanding the rules and laws ( that’s a labyrinth in all western coutries!), money stuff, having a roof over my head, finding a job, paying tax, having an health insurance ( for German’s very important 😉 …) and, and, and…Limitations everywhere!

I started with great enthusiasm, and optimism too, but after a couple of weeks I found myself completely overwhelmed by all the strangeness, far away from my ordinary world, lying in bed, resisting any form of progress. I refused the call and went back to Germany. I found a new job – at least for 6 weeks! – and another one – and another one – … But a little voice in my head did not stop talking to me. Something in me had woken up and resists being put back into the crip. What a bummer!

In Joseph Campbell’s “The Hero with a Thousends Faces” the author tells us about the fascinating appearance of the Herald in the ordinary world of the Hero or the Heroine. It is always a creature from the underworld of our unseen, undiscovered and unrecognized needs and desires of our soul. Once awakend they want to emerge from the depth and strive for theis fulfillent. It is possible to refuse the call – and all Hero’s do it in the beginning of the story – but earlier or later he or she has to leave the ordinary world.

Why?

Because after the call, nothing will flourish in the old world anymore! The power of the soul is gone! It follows the deep longing for its own realisation beyond the now limiting circumstances of the womb, or the family, or the village, or the job. And we, we have to follow our soul if we want so stay aligned with our physical, emotional, mental and energetic power and health.

Follow my call and get back on my track

So, here I’m – again – ready to follow the call, ready to follow the love. But not following the love for a man, but the love for my soul and its purpose and mission.

My first and profound insight: It takes very good preparation, especially if we are older then 25! We also need inspiration from other travelers who have already set off. We don’t have to repeat all their mistakes. We can benefit from their experiences if we are able to recognise the laws and rules of life in their travel reports and adventure chronicles. We have to make a declaration, a commitment with ourself in which we articulate our soul purpose and our intention to commit fully to this mission, even it will cost our old life. We need to recalibrate our inner navigation system. The guiding stars in the sky of our consciousness could be: radical love for truth, integrity, love and compassion, patience and high- level-joy.

I accept now that I must cross the dark forrest of the unknown, the abyss where I have to face my incompetences and where I have to enter a new learning spiral, the dark night of soul where the old ME has to die, the awakening into a deeper truth of myself and learning to master my new strenghts and powers.

I’m ready now!